Monday, October 29, 2007

C is for Change

I wanted to write something profoundly insightful about Argentina's newly elected female president, mostly because people back home keep asking my opinion like I got a relevant one (answer: I don't), and also because well...since I'm on this self-imposed excruciatingly torturous diet, I don't have much in the food department to blog about.

Sadly, I don't have much on Cristina either, at least as an insider. Today at work, my colleagues tried their damnest to answer my interrogation of this timely event, probably wishing I'd just shut.the.fuck.up and let them eat their lunch in peace. The following tremendously rigorous exchange ensued:

me: Did you vote for Cristina? Are you happy she's won?

coworker 1: I didn't vote for her. I don't trust her. I know she and her husband are trying to do the Chavez thing by monopolizing the office. In four years, her husband will run again and they'll keep trading off. Her only talent is being able to sound good on TV. (Oh...snnnnnnnnnap!)

me: She also looks good on TV. So who did you vote for?

c1: The other female candidate [Elisa Carriro].

me: Why?

c1: [shrugs] I didn't want another Kirchner. (At which point I said to myself: Self, that's voting-by-process-of-elimination.)

coworker 2: I can't even stand to look at her [Cristina], let alone want her for president. They are all the same. And the polling place was a mess and stayed open way past late so there was something [fishy] going on. (Prompting me to ask myself: Self, do they have hanging chads here?)

[c1 and c2 start rapidly gesturing in castellano about their polling experience.]

coworker 3: I voted for her [Cristina]. I liked how much stability her husband's brought to the country and I want us to keep going in that direction. I mean, they're all corrupt in some way or another. (I nodded in agreement, my face stuffed with delicious lettuce and cucumbers.)

c2: [In a mysterious and rather seductive if-I-tell-you-I-have-to-kill-you kinda way] If you have any memory at all of the past, there's no way you'd want her.

me: Why? Because she's a Peronista? (But my question was again lost as c1, c2, and c3 begin a rapid--and heated--exchanged in castellano.)

Fortuitously, or not, some snot-faced brat--and I say that in the most loving way--came up and took all our attention away.

Oh and there was some talk about what happens if you don't do the mandatory voting. One coworker said nothing happens, because she's had tons of friends who've never voted. Another said occasionally they come looking for you to take you down to the police station. (Dude, I can totally get behind mandatory voting in the US.)

So there you have it, those of you waiting with bated breath for my coverage of Argentina 2007. I suppose I shouldn't quit my day job.


Ken said...

I read in Time that she's the Argentine Hillary Clinton. Actually, I believe that was her PR spin. I think dynasties don't do anyone any good. I won't vote for Hillary partially for this reason.

theshortestfuse said...

well that's the obvious comparison, but as cristina likes to point out, she, unlike hillary, had a political career prior to her husband's presidency. i can't tell how intelligent this cristina is. i am put off by her impeccable grooming and fakey fake mannerisms.

elizabeth said...

You would look that good or fake if you spent an hour everyday on your hair and make up, which she apparently does with the help of a professional. A bit of dirt on the presidenta..she had to have surgery on her uterus so it wouldnt fall out. Now doesnt that make her seem more human???

Amen to the Clinton dynasty ending with Bill.

Anonymous said...

will you only be sticking to the serious and political whilst dieting? i'm awaiting with bated breath for java junket #9!

theshortestfuse said...

serious and political--hahaha. if only i had that much to say. nope, gonna hit up all the salad bars in town to review the various kinds of greens used in the city. it's fiberlicious.